Coffee
12:21 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Bastard?
;-)
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Moncurs Putting Iron
12:18 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Again I moved a step away, only for the previous customer to leave the shop, allowing 'the farter' to get in ahead of me. Bastard.
Well if I ever need an alternative log on name there it is
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Coffee
12:03 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Last night I was standing outside a shop, waiting for Covid-approved entry. I was joined by another fellow and an almighty stench of recently issued gas. Normally, I'm fairly tolerant of that sort of thing. I don't like it, but try to save the perpetrator's blushes and anyway it can usually be handled with a natural-looking slow wipe of the hand across the nose, which goes a long way to camouflaging it and by the end of which the worst of the aroma has usually dissipated.
But not yesterday. It stubbornly remained there like a thick morning fog in December, intense and overwhelming. I moved two steps to the side and peered at the bloke. He peered back insolently, giving that serial offender's look of innocence. I moved a step back towards where I had come from, but still it was there, a foulness of such magnitude and fetidness that defies description. Again I moved a step away, only for the previous customer to leave the shop, allowing the farter to get in ahead of me. Bastard.
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Coffee
12:03 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Last night I was standing outside a shop, waiting for Covid-approved entry. I was joined by another fellow and an almighty stench of recently issued gas. Normally, I'm fairly tolerant of that sort of thing. I don't like it, but try to save the perpetrator's blushes and anyway it can usually be handled with a natural-looking slow wipe of the hand across the nose, which goes a long way to camouflaging it and by the end of which the worst of the aroma has usually dissipated.
But not yesterday. It stubbornly remained there like a thick morning fog in December, intense and overwhelming. I moved two steps to the side and peered at the bloke. He peered back insolently, giving that serial offender's look of innocence. I moved a step back towards where I had come from, but still it was there, a foulness of such magnitude and fetidness that defies description. Again I moved a step away, only for the previous customer to leave the shop, allowing the farter to get in ahead of me. Bastard.
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w4hammer
11:56 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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old folks home...just adds to the general aroma
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nychammer
11:53 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Apparently the air on a plane is filtered every 4 minutes so the offense is fleeting if obnoxious.
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Moncurs Putting Iron
11:46 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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This was the B Side to the Pasadenas Riding on a Train.
FACT.*
*Not FACT.
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lab
11:36 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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I remember a couple of people feeling sick / being sick for the entire trip on a Condor ferry from Poole to Guernsey . 3 hours . I was in the club class section so quite enclosed . I assumed it was sea sickness but it was my arse letting rip a really garlic / sulphur like smell . I was ever so proud .
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GreenStreetPlayer
11:14 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Yes it fucking is.
How to endure 10 hours of it coming back from Las Vegas a few years back on a late flight. God knows what he had eaten.
Dirty fucking cunt!
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Nick QQQ
9:42 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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I didn’t think farts smell on a plane? A bit like the sauna
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Bungo
9:35 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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I thought this thread was going to be about a 'hilarious' follow-up to Snakes on a Plane, probably starring Ant and Dec or Corden and Horne or something...
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Alfs
6:13 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Not a fart, or on a plane, but between the ages of 19 - 24 my feet stank, and I'm talking gagging stank.
I remember getting off with some girl and literally throwing my socks out of the bathroom window, they were so rank.
Oddly, I've never had a foot odour problem since. The armpits are getting quite fruity lately, though.
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Mike Oxsaw
4:25 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Only upside to someone's baby being within screaming distance of you on a plane is that everybody assumes that is the source of any obnoxious smell and you can proudly fart for England.
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BRANDED
3:04 Thu Aug 26
Re: Farting on a plane?
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So. I was alone on a tube carriage many years ago and brewed up a big fart. Let rip. Stench. Big big big rotten stench. Putrid, sulpherous rancid death type stench. It embarrassed me but no one was around. Then, next stop two young lads got on and sat opposite me. They just started sniggering uncontrollably, as you would. I was mortified and just couldn't work out the best response which should have been owning up. I sat there like I didnt know what the fuck their problem was even though we were all enveloped in acrid stench.
No moral to the story.
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Mad Dog
11:50 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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I once cleared the whole downstairs section of a club with one fart. I was quite proud of that.
If I've ever got the farts when I'm at a club or a pub, I tend to walk up to a group of people who look like bellends, leave it with them and retreat to a safe distance. I believe jts known as a "drive by"
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Iron Duke
11:45 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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In the sea. Just splash about a bit. Perfect also if you happen to follow through. That last bit doesn’t work as well in the swimming pool.
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gph
11:13 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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At your own trial for murder.
there are some crimes that make even farting seem relatively minor.
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Nurse Ratched
11:00 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Probably won't endear you to your new in-laws, though.
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Hello Mrs. Jones
10:19 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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I enjoy walking down the aisle slowly slipping them out. I believe it's referred to as crop-dusting
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ironsofcanada
8:55 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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Far Cough 8:49 Wed Aug 25
One's own?
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Crassus
8:55 Wed Aug 25
Re: Farting on a plane?
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After a few and a curry the night before, next morning in the vets
Or
When driving with the mother in law and Junior is in the child seat
So I was told by a mate
*cough
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